Conflict.

I just have a simmering emotion inside me, so I am writing in an attempt to come closer to it and peel out its various layers, and something tells me it’s going to take a long time to get to the bottom of this one. To come to terms with what we have we first have to come to terms with what we do not have. I have often observed that when we are in conflict with ourselves, we are searching for answers of questions from which the conflict arises. The search involves denial, acceptance, helplessness, acceptance of the helplessness and then if your lucky you may just get your answer. The longest step in this process is the acceptance of the helplessness and that is something we do are best to run away from. We try to push it away, to feel we are in control of ourselves, and just when we think that its gone, it just catapults itself back at us, repelling back the same force we suppressed it with. Then we realize we should not fight it, as it is meaningless to fight with what is in us. This realization brings us closer to what we are feeling, what is the conflict, it brings us closer to our self. When we overcome the helplessness we gain the power to approach the problem with no apprehensions, just a desire to experience it and let it be within or without us.

I say within us, because they are always some desires which remain unfulfilled, trying to attain them is like pushing a wall, however hard you may try, something’s cannot be moved and something’s may never change. I felt like using the word may, because after all it’s the hope for a better tomorrow that keeps us going. Unless we come to terms with this fulfillment we will never be able to value all that is fulfilled, within and around us. This brings me back where I started, to come to terms with what we have we first have to come to terms with what we do not have. Attachment is essential as it is the first step in the process of detachment.

I say without us, because after attachment, and the acceptance of the fact that a certain desire will not be fulfilled, the process of detachment starts, where we separate ourselves from the desire and all its trappings. The journey involves the realization that the desire is not a part of us, it is an experience we have gone through. When this happens we observe it, question its core, and finally are at peace with ourselves, and there ends the conflict. We have come to terms with it, now we have the vision to appreciate what we are, and what is.

The conflict has ceased to exist, the lesson has been learnt and understood, the path has ended, but the journey has started, the journey which starts from you and ends with your ‘self’, and this is just a step forward.

Thank you

Relationship

Thinking from the mind and not from the heart erodes the whole essence of true relationship. I use the word true because not all relationships are true to friendship.

A relationship is a mirror and a friend is a second self.

A relationship consists of two basic elements - Love and Attachment – Attachment  create’s the problems and Love solves them . Love is understanding that the other is yours, Attachment is wanting the other to be yours even though he already is. It is the desire for more that makes you expect, and as human nature prevails the more these expectations are met the more they rise. This creates a certain pressure on the bond, which can dilute its whole essence. If water flows out for long it can create a flood. We need to grow as one and as individuals, as a relationship has 3 identities - Me You and Us – there has to be a sense of equilibrium in the growth of 'Us' in order  to ensure a sense of sustenance in the interaction that takes place between ‘Me’ and ‘You’. If one grows more or should I say away from the other, a disconnect creeps in. At times people move apart as they just grow out of the bond, when this happen’s its best to accept and not deny. Denial is the first step to acceptance, if we see it like that it’s a process , however, if we continue to hold onto it we are stopping our growth, and slowing down our journey to discovering what we are, what we really want and what we are capable of . When you fall down and then stand up, chances are you won’t fall that way again.

When a relationship breaks down, it is not the love for the other individual you try to get over or forget, It is the attachment that you have to get over. Hence, there is pain and regret. The love will never fade as love transcends relationship and bond. I am not saying that you will not be able to love another, you definitely will. You will pick up your bags and move on but If that individual calls out to you, the bags will drop and you will go back not as a lover but as a friend, and that is the beauty of love.

Relationship is existence. Life is not about the destination, It’s not about the journey, Its about the connections you make along the way, and that is relationship.

Our closest relationship is with our self. Only when there is peace within us, we will find peace in the world.

:)

Closed Doors

Your thoughts stray in through closed doors,

The further I run,

 The closer you come,

There is a light at the end of the tunnel,

But the tunnels too long

How long can I go on

One stare and a few words,

Walking away and not looking back,

Leaving behind the silent noise,

Of shattering glass,

Light reflected everywhere,

And suddenly you were nowhere.

Those cold eyes

still haunt my dreams,

Those memories

still play out in my eyes,

Questions

still echo in what is left of me

I go as far as can,

You're still there,

I change everything around,

You're still there,

I cannot change myself,

You're still there.

Your wave caresses the dry sand,

and leaves it to dry.

Nameless

They are so many things in our life which will make us unhappy ,its like you rise to only end up falling, or if you turn the tables you only fall so you can rise higher,every road has its share of potholes,and as your travel across many roads you learn how to deal with the potholes.Not because you want to,its because you have to.

The worst part about losing something is that you only realize its value after it has left you., but if it has left you was it ever yours to be,or was it just a phase from which you learnt certain lessons and on completion of that chapter the phase ended to make you go through another one and enrich you even further.Each lesson or experience is a single yet integral piece of a puzzle.The journey of life is to connect you with your soul, it is a journey will with intense passion and pain.,rising and falling,and a lot of other things which words cannot describe.


At various points in our life we have all tried to be something that we are not in order to gain a sense of social acceptance and belonging.Even though by doing so we are moving away from our ''self'', we still do it, and as time progresses we get so used to being like that, we make it a part of our personality and it becomes a part of us.

They are two kinds of expectations,what we expect from ourselves and what the world expects from us.These two are two different branches of the same tree,as our views and opinions are influenced by our interpretation of society and our position in the society.I am expected to behave and carry our tasks in a particular manner and meet certain standards set by the society around me.What we want is something which we often keep to ourselves hoping that after this phase is over we will get time.


A though just went past my mind while I was walking home one day.'If money grew on trees would they have been cut...